The old workers do not know what is the horizon, go home and asked her son, he said: the horizon is to see but never get a line.
2, Brezhnev visit to India, a large number of Indians to the airport to welcome Brezhnev. Brezhnev asked the then Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi, is any way to get you so many people to welcome me? Indira Gandhi replied: to welcome you to the people who are able to get a reward of Rs 5. Later, when Indira Gandhi visited the Soviet Union, thousands of Russians in Moscow from the airport to the city on the road given a warm welcome. Indira Gandhi asked Brezhnev: Do you use any way to get so many people to welcome me? Brezhnev replied: Those who do not come to welcome you to Moscow, a fine of 5 rubles per person.
3, Soviet Union, the U.S. Secret Service agents boasted: List. Since he is atheist but very honest, he was sentenced in every other year rotation between Hell and Heaven. The first year of his stay in hell, a year Hou Satan said to God: , and Satan found God said: my work, I hurry to go to Congress. Poland, Artist reluctantly accepted the job at the bullying. Painting is completed, Polish officials to come to acceptance, the results surprised him: a man and woman on the screen is a large bed in the luxurious culmination of lingering, the scenery is the Kremlin.
6, a teacher in the language class asked: : Depressed mood of the work of the teacher. On the way home get a job in the KGB's former students: He wrote it! No problem,cheap UGG boots, that kid has a few strokes, and Anna Karenina is that they write! Khrushchev meet God, God in the seat, motionless, looking Khrushchev sat in a chair opposite, and asked: went. Qu Han after he had jumped out of the sea all the people go. Captain surprised and asked how he shouted to a sociologist said: I jumped on the French say so very romantic, I jump off the Spaniards say this is very cool, I say this jump is an Englishman sports, so I jumped on the Americans that profitable, so I jumped on the Soviets that revolutionary action.
9, Brezhnev: Comrades, the Americans landed on the moon, we can not wait any longer, the party decided to let you on the sun.
astronauts: Comrade General Secretary, we would be burned.
Brezhnev: No, comrades, the party is good for you like, you go at night.
10, Brezhnev's visit to India, found that urine anywhere Asan, laughing incessantly.
Indian Prime Minister is very unhappy when it was filled with a return visit to Moscow to find, can not help but lament the high quality of the Soviet people, but are not willing to
Heaven rewards, Indian Prime Minister has finally found someone on the road side walls poured it, rejoicing
angry ordered that Brezhnev, replied -
Audit
to the next room, did not take long before we heard six gunshots and then it was rumored that sustained the crushing sound of a few minutes;
this man out of the room with a loose tie, he pistol on the table , examiners looked at him
and asked: br>
12, Khrushchev itself like to agricultural experts. A visit to a collective farm pig farm,
found a crooked pig disease. Chairman explained that this pig farm childhood malnutrition,
raised stiff. Khrushchev immediately said that these pigs hold to my house to ensure that two months back to keep you fat
.
Hearst home playing with the pig is not how long. So he decide to dispose of the pigs. In the evening he
pig into baby carriages, ready to throw away the push to the Moscow river. Who knows
half way he met Mikoyan.
... ... young grandson. Oh, what a child looks just like his grandfather! 3,000 rubles workers answered; delegations asked how much money he had, he answered 10 million rubles; delegation asked: You have saved so much money going to do it? old worker replied: pests of society.
second person said:
. br> water. Soviet submarines not only full of old and rusty, the United States is not only a new and clean. Soviet submarine's crew stood on deck did not order, team, captain of half-drunk shouted angrily: up friends? And his men even more orderly. Obviously he was very proud. He said: br>
17, Yeltsin's speech:
Communist Party, our great Russia has finally taken a big step forward.
- I wish I had Soviet tanks, I will be invincible! Alexander said.
- I wish I had the Soviet Union in the plane, I will conquer the world! Caesar said.
- If I had Pravda, the world will not know now Waterloo! Napoleon said.
19,UGG boots clearance, the then Czechoslovak government, set up a
Czechs replied: That you're not the Ministry of Culture has set up
20, Brezhnev to work on his secretary, said: one is a brown leather shoes, one is red.
21, Brezhnev made a speech Square, people heard
Brezhnev seemed to find anything, reached into his pocket feeling a bit.
Comrade Brezhnev home. See Comrade Leonid anxious, to ask him why.
Comrade Leonid said: Well, how to govern the country so hard, and now there are three problems to solve my problems did not help it.
his childhood friend Q: Which three of the question?
Leonid comrades: that housing problems,UGG boots cheap, alcohol problems and belief, built so many new residential buildings, can still not enough, people have no place to live. Prices have been raised many times can people still drinking. October Revolution have so many years, they still do not believe communism was stubbornly believe in God, can you say how do!
friends laugh: This is what is hard, you go to Sochi a month convalescence, to solve these problems to me now! Comrade Leonid
skeptical friends would do according to their own vacation.
month 后列昂尼德 comrades back, to see friends in the end did not, not yet back to the Kremlin on the first street to understand the situation.
found in the hotel this poster: I have a two-bedroom apartments For FREE interested, please call XXXXXXX. But no one seems to care about, starting Comrade Leonid happy hey, this guy really have two down.
So he went to the store and found that wine salesman at the counter sleeping in piles of wine at the counter also will buy all hung with cobwebs. Comrade Leonid excited, which is done by
Finally, on the way back to the Kremlin, through a church. Comrade Leonid found an old lady opened the church door, glanced toward the inside, spat left. Comrade Leonid simply thrilled, and I thought my old friend just too simple, and must be reused to do. Back to the Kremlin, Comrade Leonid happily holding the hand of an old friend asked him how to do it, a friend told Comrade Leonid: It's very simple, ah, so to solve the housing problem is, I canceled to go abroad limitations, who wants to can get a passport to go abroad soon, the results 80% of the people went abroad, leaving a lot of empty houses. What about wine, you and I do the contrary, I dropped the price of wine 1 Gobbi, alcoholic drinks were all crazy to buy the drinks, the results of the on one will buy the Zuisi. As for the belief in what, it is more simple, I put the statues in church were sent to the museum, put your portrait hung in the church.
23, Khrushchev's visit to a school. He asked a student: Mother Who? said: With shouting Help!
two police officers heard of it, felt invisible, still walking and laughing as before.
old Qingjishengzhi, as they shouted Startled police heard of the two, with the rapid jump into the river, the old man ashore to handcuff it.
25, Lenin and dying, called up into the Kremlin called the heir to Stalin died, a few words should be entrusted. worried that if they do not go with you, how do you do? How not to manage national Khrushchev tried to show that anyone can manage national Brezhnev is that countries do not need management
27, Russian belligerence, military material in short supply. A corporal in the military, accompanied by the Director to the barracks under the inspection of material supply. They went near the oil bank, found a cigarette butt on the ground. Director of military discontent, said: 1937, Soviet authorities sought the death of the poet Pushkin centennial statue design, excellent work in the following three: standing on the hill overlooking the distant Caucasus, Pushkin, a duel is about to fall when hit by a bullet Pushkin, Pushkin Art Goddess wear for Yue Guiguan . But winning is .... are reading the works of Pushkin, Comrade Stalin.
29, the conductor window to wake a sleeping passenger rely: , then one of the leading comrades in front of me called: 'nothing good, quick sit on the train!' So I had entered the car ... ... can been seen a fish hook. He frequently see others succeed, there are some embarrassing face. Beria excuse for his comrades: Why afraid of the base of the fish you for seeing it? He pointed to a suspect weapon asked: After the trial, the intern recalled the trial, feel the attitude not tough enough, the lack of deterrent. So the next trial, he wrinkled brows, staring eyes, banged the table and asked sternly: Interns think they played a role in deterrence, he slapped the desk and asked:
33, in the Soviet Union, a trade union conference in speech. He works hard to talk about how rich the Soviet people ...... then raised his hand and said Rabin Norwich, the meat we have gone? The next day the man came speech. Alzheimer Popovich hands asked, * 德爱斯坦丁, Harold Wilson and Brezhnev decided to go hunting. After that, they decided to break with tradition - and they will go to hunt elephants in India. Well, they did so, very first day, night fell, they caught an elephant. Now, they use it to do? They decided that it tied to a tree and take turns guarding it. First, President Ford. He waited for two hours, and then to Giscard, then sleep. Giscard also keep for two hours, and then to Wilson, then sleep. Wilson stood for two hours, and then Brezhnev, then sleep. But Brezhnev fell asleep. In the morning, they awoke,UGGs, the elephant was gone. 'Where the elephant? They asked Brezhnev. 'What elephant? 'What do you mean Others said with indignation. 'We did not come to India hunting an elephant? 'Yes. 'We are not caught an elephant? 'Yes. 'We tie it to a tree, right? 'Yes. 'We agreed to take turns guarding it, right? 'Yes. 'At that time Ford station post, right? 'Yes. 'He gave Giscard elephant, right? 'Yes. 'And then Giscard station post, right? 'Yes. 'He gave Wilson the elephant, right? 'Yes. 'And Wilson stations Kong, right? 'Yes. 'He gave you an elephant, right? 'Yes. 'So, where the elephant? 'What elephant? '(Soviet diplomacy is dumb)
35, Rabin Norwich travel to three cities to go, they are: Warsaw, Prague, and Paris. Warsaw and Prague, the Soviet Union control. To Warsaw, he sent a telegram units, reads: Popovich. the. Radio released the obituaries. Radio Broadcast:
37, a Moscow lost the public's parrot. This is the curse of the parrot would, if the hands of the KGB could fall bad. This person will be in the newspaper issued a statement: Comrade Brezhnev as general secretary of the CPSU Central Committee, after the old mother will be received in the country to Moscow. The old lady came, Brezhnev proudly show my mom a lot to his luxury villa, high car, expensive furniture, etc., after the show finished, Brezhnev asked the lady how it all? The old lady said: Gorbachev take a train to the same inspections. Results suddenly the train stopped. It was reported to the leaders, that there is no rail in front of, and referrals to how to do?
Lenin: it launched a voluntary labor, the railway will be built up in our hands.
Stalin: There must be class enemies sabotage, and quickly track down!
Khrushchev: Yes, our predecessors did not fix the railway, this thing has come to consult me?
Brezhnev: started a campaign to push the train, as long as the train shake, let a bit of advertising propaganda department, to we are still ahead.
Gorbachev: that we all get off the train pulled down to a place where the tracks go.
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